Productivity

 Healing, Wellness, wellness, healing...

My knee spoke as loud and clear as my dreams.. 

talk to your uncle, or at least ask why you wont.. 

Feel the swell of fluid, and the pinning sensation from the side of my bone thru the right tip of my left set of toes. 

Love is a language. 

What does neglect say. 

What does i wont talk to you say. 

What does, i used to think you were the best person in the world, my favorite and now i don’t even think to text you. 

I am bitter with the taste of defeat. I lost. 

I lost family. And that shit hurt. I left family and doing that hurt, and hurt others. 

At some point a year or two after the fall, the pain stopped.. i knew there was discomfort but for the most part I didn’t feel anything. Out of side out of mind. Cold. Cold blooded. Nocturnal, okay. 

But when the body speaks.. its hard to ignore. 

When the body speaks..  i am made to manifest that which i have been suppressing, in habit, in familiarity, in survival. 

These wounds which are mendable.. there is a place beyond betrayal. There is a place beyond the fragility of power dynamics and fear or faking. 

There is a space where this knee jerk reaction... 

doesn’t become a chronic life long limp or split screen sadness. 

Dear god make me a bird so i can fly far, far into the dawn 

Goose gone wild. 

Who have i made mad. Who have i hurt. 

And yet what if i deserved so much more than what he gave. The fake fake way.